I cannot open my mouth in objection even with the radio turned down for my response. I was not surprised at my ineffability, nor was I surprised by the way things turned out, or how things are discovered. Or how things are forced into place. We were on our way to a steakhouse in the city over so there was time enough to talk and reevaluate the family’s financial house, which is only possible from a distance. Before any reassessment, and this may be the cause for such a reassessment, there was also the silence not of the road, but of the travel. From an economic point of view there was good foundation, but from the managed’s perspective an iron hand was just shaking the beams to reinforce the contractor’s own good work. It was kind to have given me a shake, but it was pointless; he had already his own judgment, that it was sound.
But my house is a honeymoon suite of myself, sweeter becoming the closer my father gets. Lately he has been kinder to me, and I’ve appreciated the effort, but there was an underlying cause different from what I had hoped, and he had brought it up himself.
“Is it because you want more time to yourself?”
“Yeah. I’m afraid I won’t have time to write.” Kafka would have nodded at my own blunt force. But fathers are rarely Kafka’s.
“If I had known that was why you haven’t been doing anything . . .” In my mind anything I follow this with would have been negatively correct, because my mind was six feet beneath me scuttling for the sea. In the wake of his sentence I reconsidered the proposition, which was: apply for the job, “it was meant for [me],” “that’s a lot of money.” I didn’t even know his SUV had a calculator built-in it—“that’s $160 a day . . . $3200 a month—,” and my mom even joining: “Ooh that’s more than what you made Papa!” I couldn’t thank them enough.
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Also, does anyone know of any job openings? I need to make money in legitimate daylit ways.
GASP. That sounds like decent money! I don't know what the job is. I wonder how it would feel to be paid at the end of every day's work. I bet there's some immediate satisfaction in such an act. I do not know of any job openings my friend. I liked the way this story was presented. Had me messed up for a bit when i read "But fathers are rarely Kafka’s." but typos happen. Is there a part I missed that explained what the job was?
ReplyDeleteI read or heard that "experience breeds ideas" I think it was BenJammin' Franklin or perhaps Einstein that said it. I've taken the idea to heart and constantly look to the world for ideas now. I see more things that are inanimate now with faces - I see more unexplored lairs in shack-like homes with tiny dingy windows, roads seemingly untraveled between buildings, I often look toward the horizon and marvel that there are things that far, that big, and they are not just pictures, but things I can experience if i so will it! I went off on a tangent and forgot my point but re-read it all to realign my train of thought. I this situation is non-fiction, I'd suggest taking the if only for the experiences. It could potentially fuel an idea or two. Many of the ideas I get now-a-days are thought up while whiling away the time at work. I don't know that you'd have the same amount of free time... I know I still search for free time to put some thoughts together.
I now notice that I haven't been doing much reading at all as of late - only re-reading the ideas i write down and some signs for train stops. Shop signs... I don't know what I have been doing when I haven't been on day trips. Currently I work 15 days a month which leaves me ample opportunity to explore and travel the country. I think 2 spur of the moment trips in the past two weeks and another 2 trips that were planned? I can no longer keep track of the days because of my schedule, but I guess it isn't of much consequence considering the benefits. I've taken pics and have posted few. The last couple of days my camera/ipodtouch was left at a friend's place so i haven't posted some of the other pics I've been meaning to post. More will be posted soon.
I think that's my life-as-of-now blurb
Take care friends! Perhaps you can tell me more excerpts of your lives (irl or in-game) and thoughts or even...feelings? o:
NP
also after a bit of research, I have no idea who said "experience breeds ideas" or something to that effect.
ReplyDelete-NP